The SAT essay— a fully-developed, comprehensive essay
written in 25 minutes— is one of the most daunting tasks that a college-bound student
will face. Many educators feel that the task is unfair because, they argue,
students will never be asked to produce a timed essay that quickly in real
life. I disagree. Students face countless midterm and final exams where they
will need to do just that— construct an airtight opinion and argue or explain it
forcefully and quickly.
Nevertheless, we all feel that the task is onerous. In class,
I ask students to practice creating substantive body paragraphs to illustrate
or prove their thesis statements. By breaking down the complete task into a short
introduction and limited conclusion, students will have sufficient time to put considerable energy into their body paragraphs. I tell them that the meat, their detailed examples, must be
the important focus of their energy. They write nine-minute, timed body paragraphs a
few times in class, as well as for homework, to demystify and deconstruct the
chore.
From time to time, I will post examples of excellent SAT
essays, written in just 25 minutes. Bravo to our wonderful student writers!
Emily Risch is our debut writer of this task, and we are delighted to showcase her example of strong, interesting, richly argued prose.
Writer: Emily Risch
Bethlehem Central
High School
Delmar, NY
This essay is a response
to the following question:
“Is conscience a more
powerful motivator than money, fame, or power?”
Conscience
has been referred to as a more powerful motivator than money, fame, or power. I
disagree with this principle because it has been demonstrated on many occasions
that people strive to achieve success for their own personal benefit, more
often than not ignoring their conscience. Even Thomas Jefferson believed that people
are generally selfish and often only look out for their own self-interest. Two
examples that prove this point are the reign of Louis XIV and Benedict Arnold’s
betrayal of the Americans in the Revolutionary War.
Often
called the Sun King, Louis XIV inherited the throne of France at a very young age. Since
he was too young to assume proper rule of the country, he used a Regent, his
mother, to make decisions in his place. Once he came of age, it was almost as
if he still wasn’t ruling over the French people. Instead of listening to what
his conscience told him to do, Louis put France
in an enormous amount of debt when he paid for the construction of the royal
palace at Versailles.
Louis used the palace as a public display of his prestige and power. In order
to ensure the loyalty of his feudal nobles, he invited a few every month to
stay at the palace and serve him. Louis did very little to benefit the French
other than constructing a massive tourist attraction and creating an
opportunity for national credit. Although Louis XIV was an extravagant spender,
he didn’t betray his countrymen like Benedict Arnold did.
At the
beginning of the Revolutionary War, Benedict Arnold appeared as a promising
commander who had potential to carry American infantries to victory. However,
as the war progressed and the Americans’ chances looked slimmer and slimmer, Arnold began to question
his loyalty. Surely the poorly uniformed, diseased, and malnourished troops
were enough to convince him to leave his troops and join the British. Instead
of maintaining integrity and conscience, Arnold
wanted the power that would come with a victory, the power that he was sure the
Americans would not achieve. At the Battle of Saratoga, he left his troops and joined the
British forces, much to the satisfaction of his Loyalist wife. In the end, Arnold’s treason backfired
when the Americans were victorious and he never tasted the power he so desired.
Throughout
history, important figures have shown a selfish tendency to ignore their conscience
to seek money, fame and power. Most often, the evil in a person takes over his or her conscience when prestige presents itself.
